TRUTH OR DARE
by Neil Burns (Neilcroy)
rated PG/PG-13? some langauge and adult references
"BRYCE!"
Hillary Winston heard the Lady of the Manor bellow as he headed toward the stairwell carrying a tray with
tea and scones. Suddenly, computer geek/technical wizard Christian Bryce flew down the stairs, holding
his digital camera and wearing a guilty expression on his face. He stopped long enough to take a scone
before running out the back. Immediately afterward, a very wet and furious Lara Croft stormed down
the stairs, wrapped in only a towel.
"Christian Bryce!" she growled. "You are a bloody DEAD MAN when I get my hands on you!"
"A little overdressed this morning, My Lady?" Winston asked with a bland smile.
"No, Hilly," Lara returned the butler's smile. "Mr. Bryce thought it would be terribly amusing to take my
photograph as I was coiming out of the shower."
"Ah, the mystery is solved. I just saw Master Bryce now. He took a scone before running out the back
door, I believe the Americans use the expression 'like a bat out of Hell'?"
"Well, he is going to EAT that bloody camera! For the life of me I can't understand why Bryce would do
something like this. Kurtis or Alex, I can see doing this. Terry Sheridan is a definite yes. Larson? There
is a no-brainer if ever there was one. Bryce? No. I know he always had a crush on me, but he was also
always very discrete."
"I am certain there is a logical explanation, Lady Croft."
"Good." Lara took a scone and began eating it while sipping her tea. "He can explain before I make him
suffer a long, slow and painful death."
As the Raider took another scone, delightful fanatasies about killing a certain tech in the most painful,
most humiliating ways possible. Suddenly, a cruel smile curved her full lips.
"Of course," she purred, "he could be my human target."
Lara referred to the practice of Winston wearing a tea tray under a metal chest protector while she shot
rubber bullets or paintballs to keep up her marksmanship.
"Really?" Winston's eyes brightened before he feigned a cough. "I mean that is very disappointing, but I
am certain that I can summon the strength to get over this." the butler's tone was anything but
disappointed.
"Well,I feel the need to shoot something," Lara mused, giving Winston a playful wink, "but since Bryce
isn't here, have Zip set up SIMON. I will be down in about ten or fifteen minutes."
"Yes, Lady Croft," Winston smiled as Lara left with her scone and tea to go upstairs. "Right away."
Twenty minutes or so later, clad in a black sport bra and tight-fitting black exercise tights with blue
piping down the sides, a barefoot Lara scampered from pillar to statue to saracophagus, firing at SIMON
while ducking the hail of bullets assaulting and barely missing her, courtesy of Bryce giving the robot new
weapons to even the playing field. Lara managed to dive behind a large Bast statue as yet another round
of bullets just missed her.
"It would seem," Winston observed into Lara's headset, "that Master Bryce has 'stepped it up' a bit?"
"No shit, Sherlock," Zip snorted. "You alive, Lara?"
"Yes I am, Zip," Lara replied. "Thank you for asking. Winston is right. I wanted a challenge and, so far,
Bryce is delivering the goods."
"Well, he did say that he installed a few upgrades while you and West were farting around in Thailand.
You should be getting those upgrades soon."
Suddenly, SIMON stopped firing and immediately shut itself down.
"All right, Mr. Bryce," the Tomb Raider smirked, preparing herself for whatever came next. "Let's see what--"
Her train of thought was interrupted by the sudden appearance of four figures. Lara gasped in shock seeing
that they were HER! From the fingerless gloves to the gunbelt carrying twin fifty-caliber pistols to the
signature French plait, they were identical to Lara Croft down to every detail. At first glance, they appeared
to be naked, but a closer look revealed that they wore full fleshtone bodysuits that were footless and
skintight to the point of being almost painted on.
"Hello," Zip mused. "That's unexpected."
"It would seem Master Bryce has quite the fascination with you, Lady Croft," Winston stated bemusedly.
"You think?" Lara retorted.
Suddenly, the "Laras" opened fire, spraying the Tomb Raider's hiding place with bullets as Lara barely got
out of there and sprinted for another place to hide, firing at the persuing clones. She flopped gracelessly
behind a large saracophagus, waiting for the quartet to come towards her. She grabbed the first clone to
come close enough and engaged her in brutal hand-to-hand combat. Lara stood triumphant over the four
clones, but her joy was short-lived as they all got up and stood with their hands on their hips, arms akimbo,
their lips curled into cruel smiles. Suddenly, the Tomb Raider's eyes widened as gun barrels popped out of
the clones' nipples. Lara barely got away before the barrels began firing at the fleeing Raider.
"Wow," Zip stated amused.
"Oh, my," Winston observed.
"One word about guns and breasts," Lara growled from behind the Anubis statue that served as her present
cover, "and I wil rip your tongues out."
"I would not dream of it, Lady Croft."
"My lips are sealed, Boss Lady," Zip smirked.
"Mr. Bryce and I are going to have a very long talk when he comes back from wherever it is he is hiding,"
Lara hissed.
"I hate to be in his shoes."
"They seemed to have stopped." Lara decided to risk a peek. "Oh, for the love of GOD!"
The Lara clones' nether regions opened and missiles poked out. In an instant, Anubis was oblierated, but
Lara miraculously escaped before the clones homed in on her. The cat-and-mouse game with the missiles
continued for another ten minutes. Lara found herself in one of the saracophagi, hiding and catching her
breath as the clones walked by searching for her.
"Crotch rockets!" Lara snarled. "Oh, very amusing, Bryce. Real bloody FUCKING HILARIOUS! How would you
like me to shove one of those rockets up your bloody PERVERTED ARSE!"
"Umm. Is that what's known as 'shooting one's load'?" Zip asked innocently.
"Master Zip!" Winston chided. "That was indeed VERY poor taste!"
"Zip?" Lara smiled with sweet poison. "How would you like a 'load' shoved down your throat? Then do me
a favor and shut up."
"Got it."
Lara eased her way out of the saracophagus and made it halfway to the entrance when a sudden rain of
bullets and missiles barely missed her and, again, she found herself having to find cover. Lara ducked
behind another statue as she unleashed a very long and foul stream of expletives, fantasizing about
eviscerating a certain tech slowly and VERY painfully. She could hear Winston gasp in shock.
"Lara Amelia Croft!" the butler admonished. "A lady does NOT use such appalling gutter language!"
"Yeah, Lara!" Zip laughed.
"Yes, Winston," Lara retorted, "but who says that I am a lady? Zip? Please tell me you have some
good news."
"Matter of fact," the American tech replied, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that
your clones are not Natla Bitch's dopplehoes. They are only robots that can be deactivated by switches
located at the base of their spines."
"That is good news. What's the bad news?"
"Well, the only way to shut them off is doing it manually."
"Manually. As in 'get up close and personal manually'?"
"Well, I suppose there is a remote, but I ain't got no clue where B-man keeps it."
"Did I mention that I am going to murder Bryce?"
"You may have mentioned it a time or two or three, Lady Croft," Winston stated.
"Or a dozen or so," Zip chimed in.
"Or fifty or one hundred."
"Give or take."
"Very funny."
A couple of long hours later, a heavily bruised and dirty, but triumphant Tomb Raider walked out of the
simulation room and nearly collapsed. Winston was immediately at her side with towel and bottled water
while Zip started to massage Lara's shoulders. Lara purred in contentment.
"Thank you, boys," the Raider smiled warmly.
"Yeah, Lara!" Zip cheered as his fingers released the knots in the Raider's shoulders. "Way to kick some
robotic boo-taay! That was your most kickass performance yet!"
"Thank you. I suppose I owe Bryce a raise for this." Winston cought delicately.
"If you are finished, please pardon the expression, 'playing with yourself'? I have been watching the
screen and there is something that may be of considerable interest to you."
Lara sat in front of the console and gasped at what she found. The screen showed half a dozen men
sitting around a fireplace in an expensively decorated den, drinking bourbon and smoking cigars.
Lara recognized five of them as Bryce, her American ex-lovers Kurtis Trent and Alex West, ex-Royal
Marine-turned mercenary Terry Sheridan, and Natla's lackey Conrad Larson. The sixth unknown man
was a handsome thirtysomething who oozed charme and confidence. The men were playing Truth or
Dare and it was Bryce's turn.
"Okay, Mr. Bryce," the man, identified as J.R. Hutton IV, drawled as he patted the tech's back, "besides
me, you are the only one who has not bedded Lady Croft. Correct?"
Bryce spat out his drink in shock. Lara felt her eyes narrow.
"Well, what we want to know is have you ever slept with Croft or fantasized about it?"
"I'm sorry, WHAT was that?!" He stared at the other men in disbelief.
"Have you ever slept with Croft," Sheridan smiled. "We're all blokes here, mate. No worries."
"I think I'll take the dare."
"You sure?" Alex smirked in mock pity.
"Yes."
"Okay," Hutton drawled smugly. "Your dare is to photograph Lady Croft in her birthday suit."
"Her WHAT?!" Bryce could not believe what he heard.
"Lara starkers, as you Brits say." The Texan chuckled dryly.
"You're barking! The lot of you! Lara will have my bloody BALLS for lunch!"
"Come on, B-man," Kurtis smiled. "You've seen Lara naked before. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal, Trent," Bryce retorted, "is that first of all, I had no idea that you were with her
when I accidentally entered her room. Secondly, I like living, thank you."
Hutton picked up a checkbook from the desk in the corner and wrote in it. He then walked over
to Bryce and placed it in the tech's hands. Bryce looked at it and almost dropped it in shock.
"T-t-t-ten million dollars?" he croaked in disbelief.
"DAMN!" Zip whistled.
"That is what?" Hutton asked Sheridan, "about five or six million pounds?"
"GIve or take a few shillings," the mercenary grinned.
"Just think, Bryce," Kurtis patted the tech on the back. "Think of all the toys you can buy. Think
of the upgrades you can give SIMON. Make Lara REALLY work for her victory."
Bryce just stood there as the figure sunk in and guilt began gnawing away at his insides. He sighed
as he closed his eyes in silent prayer before opening them again.
"I am so sorry, Lara," he almost whispered. "I'll do it."
"Atta boy!" Larson crowed, slapping the tech's back. "Make sure you get us copies."
The screen then went blank as Lara sat there in shock, taking in what she saw.
"It would seem Master Bryce's actions were not of his own accord, wouldn't you say, Lady Croft?"
Winston said, placing a paternal hand on Lara's shoulder.
"No, I wouldn't," Lara replied sharply. "I would say Bryce was, as the Americans say, 'railroaded'
into doing this stupid bet. He was bribed, which is even more disappointing."
"I don't know," Zip smiled. "If someone told me to take a nude picture of you, I'd do it for free."
He was answered with a chilly raised eyebrow.
"Right. Shutting up now."
"So, this would qualify as 'mitigating circumstances'?" Winston queried.
"No. Bryce won't be seriously punished, but he is not getting away with this."
"Just don't be too hard on him. Okay, Lara?" Zip asked.
Lara smiled as she stood and placed her fingerless-gloved hands on her boys' cheeks, patting them
before going upstairs for a shower. Later that night, the front door to the Manor opened and Bryce
snuck in, easing the door closed. He carried a white teddy bear holding a red heart saying I'M SORRY
and a boquet of a dozen Sterling roses. Bryce figured he would sneak into Lara's room while she slept
and leave them. He got halfway to the stairs when--
"Good evening, Bryce." That familiar posh accent tickled his ears.
"Oh, SHIT!" he groaned. 'I am SO dead.'
"You can say that again. Come here, Bryce."
Bryce turned to the voice and saw Lara sitting on one of the large oversized sofas by the fireplace. She
was wearing a black tanktop and black silk pajamas under a green ornately decorated robe and her feet
were bare. She was reading PLUTARCH'S LIVES while smoking a Montechristo cigar. Bryce walked over
and stood in front of Lara, praying for a quick death.
"We missed you this morning," the Raider said without preamble, not looking up from her book.
"Yeah," the tech replied. "I was busy all day with errands."
"I see. Are those for me?" Lara placed her book on the sofa beside her.
Bryce handed her the teddy bear which she immediately flung into the fireplace without even sparing
it a glance. She took the roses and looked at them and Bryce, eyebrow raised as she wondered how
he could afford such an expensive present. She then remembered the check.
"Sterling?" A trace of amusement could be heard in her voice.
"Well, I did fuck up this morning and I wanted to make up for it."
"I see. Sit down, please."
Bryce immediately complied and sat down across from the Raider, who leaned back and took a few
puffs of her cigar and exhaling as she placed it in the ashtray on the table beside her. She then leaned
back and folded her arms, scrutinizing the man sitting across the room.
"You have exactly one minute to explain why I should not rip out your lungs and feed them to you for
that stunt this morning."
"Well," Bryce replied. "I was at this American bloke's flat in London. We were playing Truth or Dare and
it was my turn."
"Yes," Lara cut in and stood up, walking over to where Bryce sat. "And your dare was to photgraph me
naked, which is why you stood outside the shower waiting for me."
"I meant no harm, Lara."
"Really."
"Yeah, the other blokes speak of you like you're some bloody trollop. Yes, I admit that I have a crush
on you and I had one since I started working for you five years ago. Of course, I'm just some poor
blighter from Lancashire and you're practically bloody royalty. Your family goes back what? About nine
or so generations? What chance would I have? Anyway, I would never act on my crush because you would
have my balls for breakfast for one. Two, you're my boss and that means you're the one who, as the
Yanks say, 'sign my checks'. Three, you are my friend."
Lara raised an eyebrow as she felt her upper lip curl upward.
"Yes, my friend," Bryce smiled more confidently. "I know that beneath that hard cynical shell beat s the
heart of a loving, gentle, warm, compassionate soul. You're witty, you're smart, you have a shoulder
for one to cry one, a sympathetic ear to bend, a word of encouragement to raise a bloke's spirits."
Lara's mouth now formed a full smile as she listened to Bryce plead his case and indulge in some
shameless ass-kissing.
"In short, you're the sister I never had and the friend that I am happy to be associated with. I know
I am a pain in the arse at times, but what I did was inexcusable. I let my greed and my hormones get
the best of me. I never meant to hurt you, Lara, and I am truly and deeply sorry. I will hand in my
resignation tommorrow before you kill me."
Lara stood there for a moment before placing two fingers under the tech's chin, rasing them so he
faced her. She then placed a hand on his cheek.
"I don't suppose you practiced all day saying that?" she queried softly. "Never mind. That was very
well thought out and very well said." Lara patted the tech's cheek. "I know you didn't mean to hurt
me, Bryce, but you did. That was a violation of my privacy and my personal space. You let yourself
be coerced into doing something you knew was wrong. You were bribed, which is even more
disappointing."
Bryce hung his head, but again, Lara raised it with two fingers placed under his chin. She then
stroked it with a gentle smile on her lovely features.
"However, you did 'man up', as the Americans say, and apologize. For that, I thank you. I do
forgive you, but you still must be punished. Starting tommorrow, you will be my human target
for the next four months."
Bryce groaned loudly.
"That's just for starters. I'll think of something. In the meantime, get some sleep and we'll have
a long talk tommorrow about some of your 'improvements'.
"The 'Larabots'." Bryce grumbled.
"Them. Meanwhile, well done on the program otherwise. It was quite the challenge."
"Right. The original picture is on the console in my trailer."
"Thank you.I will deal with Kurtis and the others in the morning."
Lara kissed Bryce's cheek and patted it before heading upstairs to bed. Bryce walked over to the
computer area where Winston and Zip were watching. The American tech raised his fist.
"My man," he crowed. "That was slick!"
"Indeed," the butler chuckled. "Well played indeed."
"Obviously not well enough," Bryce groused. "I have to be Human Target Boy for the next four months."
Winston patted the tech on the back with mock sympathy.
"There, there. It only hurts the first dozen times or so. You get used to it after a while."
"Better you than me, man," Zip grinned. "Night, all."
THE END
Da-daa! Done! I got the sport bra/tights combo from the beginning of TRA where Lara is working out
in the Manor Gaming Room. also, anyone know what $10,000,000 (US) is in pounds? anyway, enjoy and
PLEASE let's hear from you. peace out.